There’s a difference between thoughtful criticism and idle shit talk, and this post here explains it very well. (Little Red pointed me to this)
Please read this from Iceburg Ink.
No one ever clicks on links, ever, so to quote this guy:
One instance I recall was last year when a co-worker talked about how much she loved the TWILIGHT books, and I told her how poorly written they were and how awful the stories were and how they portray the characters in a really bad light.
Her answer to me was “But it’s the only book series I’ve ever read with such a passion.”
I stepped back. Out of myself. And I had a good long look at what I was doing. I was telling this girl that her “joy” was no good. I was telling her that her judgment must be flawed in what she chose to entertain herself with.
Yes! That! Thanks for your article, Mr Iceburg Ink Guy.
When I meet someone with a different opinion on a book or whatever, I try to view it as an opportunity for mutual encouragement. “That’s great that you liked that book. What other books do you like? Do you know about this book that I like?” Probably the first book on both our lists weren’t great choices for the other of us, but we work around and find those satellite book suggestions that are winners.
It’s easy to shit talk stuff and make others feel bad (this is called “bullying”, by the way) in order to make ourselves feel righteous or smart or whatever. It’s way easy. And lazy.
Reading the Iceburg Ink post, I want to re-affirm that I don’t roll that way here on Darkcargo, which is probably why we don’t get a lot of hits.
My hugest peeve in the whole wide world is this silly pre-conceived assumption that women who read romances are dumb women. That is patently untrue and I hate seeing that idea out there in the ‘Webs.
I want to know why you like to read what you like to read.
What are you reading now?
thanks for this one; a great sentiment. It’s an attitude I really try to aspire to, but often fall short.
I once read somewhere about the difference between geeks and other sorts of fans (categorized in that case as “hipsters”, I think, but that’s not quite right) is that geeks are all about “You like that? I like that too! Let’s like it together!” and the other type is more about “You like that? That sucks/is so over/etc”.
Sometimes we all struggle with being more like the first type and less like the second.
And related – we all really ought to aspire to this: http://xkcd.com/1053/
YAY! Thanks for pointing me at the XKCD comic! That’s like a present ::claps hands::.
That’s what I don’t understand about the “trolling” epidemic on the blogosphere. We’re all geeky nerdz around here, we all like SF & F. What gives?
Thanks for this post. I hate when people bad mouth certain books or writers. They miss the point, people are reading. And what people like is a personal choice. No one should try to take that away from them. To answer your question, I’m reading Fingersmith by Sarah Waters. I recently read Tipping the Velvet by her and really enjoyed it. As for what I like to read, I jump all around. I don’t like to stick to one genre or type. I like to sample.
Thanks for the encouragement for these posts. I really appreciate it. Even if the subject at hand isn’t my fave author or book, these attitudes still give me the buckets of feeling like shit feeling. You know?
Do you know, I even found a multiple-segment basher blogger picking apart The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, going into minute detail about why this story is bad for girls. RLLY? That was off the deep end, I thought. That blogger reviewed professionally for Publisher’s Weekly, by the by. ::rolls eyes::
I haven’t read the book yet, but it’s on my list. I’m not big into bashing any artist: writer, painter or whatever. It takes time, guts, and heart (and a lot more) to create something and then put it out there for the public. Bashing is uncalled for. constructive criticism is good. Being a jerk–that’s never good.
Also, YAY! an author new to me to explore. Thanks for the reference. nrlymrtl might like these, too. I’ll ping her on Sarah Waters.
Last month I read my first Sarah Waters’ book (The Little Stranger) for a read along. It was pretty darn good.
I recently purchased a copy of The Little Stranger. I’m loving her writing.
I’m glad that this is the ‘way you roll’ and I always check out your posts because they’re interesting just like this one.
I suppose sometimes it’s difficult to contain your feelings if you really dislike a book but everyone has their own opinion. Black might be my favourite colour but does it have to be everyone’s! At work, for example, because I read a lot people are always saying ‘oh, you read a lot so I’ve brought you some books in’ – some of them are totally not my thing but I would never say to someone ‘I don’t read xxxx’ in that superior tone. I just say thanks and hope that they don’t come and grill me about how much I liked it! I’m a bit of a softie you see. Plus, one of my best book buddies actually read all The 50 Shades books and brought them in to read – I did read 1, I even tried 2 but 3 is just sat there and will never be read. But I’m not getting all grim about it.
Lynn
Thanks for the reassurance. I get nervous posting sometimes, especially with this type of “thinky-thoughts” post.
It takes a lot for me to *really* dislike a book to the point of absolute destestification. That’s only happened a couple of times, maybe. Usually I just lose interest and put it down, like the one we were discussing a while back, with the holography cover.
Hah! How many rabid readers have had an experience similar to the one you describe? “Here, you read a lot, so I brought in all these books for you.” Ahhh, thanks.
Yeah, another example, EVERY (and, yes, I know the caps was on) woman in my workplace as read 50 Shades of Grey – and has come over to me to discuss it. Personally that particular book was really not my type of book, but I didn’t get on my hobby horse about it. I quite enjoyed the way they came over to me all sort of blushing and guilty looking and say ‘have you read 50 Shades’ – like they were trying to sell me illegal substances or something! But, and now I feel a little bit bad, because I did write a bit of a negative review of it – it wasn’t totally bad (well, it was a bit) – so, is that, like, bullying? I mean, after all, it’s only my opinion?
Lynn
No, not in my opinion. A negative review is not bullying. The bashing I’m complaining about here is stuff of the nature like “Anyone who might think X Book is great must be a real ignoramus.” Good reviews, with substance, have their very necessary place. You write good reviews, even when you don’t like the book because you’re able to articulate *why* that book wasn’t a winner for you.
Hum hum hum. Thinking some more. Let’s open a discussion this weekend on what a negative review means.
I’m complete crap at negative reviews which is why I don’t do them. My genius analytical skillz and literary prowess leave me writing such stunners as: “I didn’t like it because it was LAME!”. Not helpful.
I think it’s a good idea!
Lynn
Hey,
Thanks for reposting this and blogging about it. It helps me know that my post wasn’t way out there in terms of my own “thinky-thoughts”.
It also helps to know that there are other bloggers out there like you who are trying to make a difference in that regard and provide an informational set of posts in an even keeled way.
Thanks for stopping in! And really, thanks again for starting the conversation.
-Elizabeth
A friend asked me if I had read or heard of the 50 Shades books, and what did I think? I paused and said, “well, I’ve heard of them, yes, but really those kinds of stories aren’t my thing. I like mysteries a lot.” I told her what I knew though, then went home and found a good review of them and emailed it to her. I don’t know if she read them but she was really happy that I “helped”! I think she was embarrassed to ask, and relieved when I didn’t poo-poo it. I figure reading is reading, dammit, I just want peope to read more!
On the other sided of that coin: when I go bonkers telling people about whatever story I’m into, most of the time they are patient and listen and it encourages me to do the same. Some of the best books I have found lately are ones other people told me about that I took a chance on. (Name of the Wind, Ready Player One, Wool, Undead & Unwed, Relic, Stardust, Ender’s Game, Abarat, etc)